The Saddest Goodbye.

August 14,2012 - My first offical night on my own. I've waited so long for this moment. I've waited so long for this day. I've begged and pleaded for time to fly by so i could get here. I've dreamed of always being on my own like a big girl. Always wanted to make my own rules, and never wanted to answer to anyone. Well now that this time is here I ask myself " Mallorie, is this what you've been waiting for? To leave everyone you love behind? To go off on your own, and not have your parents around?" Ya, I did wish for this every day of my life, but now that it is here I want to go back. I want to go back to when I was little and my summers were spent on the farm with grandma, and Madison. I want to go back to when Bob would dress up like Santa on Christmas Eve. I want to go back to the nights when my mom tucked me into bed and read I Love You This Much to me. I want to go back to my care-free high school days when class was a complete joke. I want my friends back, my classmates that i grew up with. I want back all the things I was wishing away for so long. Theres no one here to hold my had anymore. No one to make sure i behave. I'm excited, but nervous. lonely, yet surrounded by people. There comes a time in life wen you just have to grow up. You have to forget the people that hurt you and embrace the ones that love you. Right now I'm dealing with heart ache. It has been tough but God has steadily started to heal my broken heart. He took a certain guy out of my life because He has a better one to put in. I've got a lot of life ahead of me, a new adventure. To everyone who has said i couldn't do this just watch me. I'm about to show my small town what I'm really made of. As I settle in tonight for my first night on my own I get such a surreal feeling. I have known this day was coming for so long, but I never thought it would be so hard. I've said goodbye to my friends, brothers, cousins, dads, aunts, uncles, and total strangers. They were awfully sad, but no goodbye was as sad at the goodbye to my mother. The one woman that has always been by my side whenever anything went wrong is now twelve hours away. My mom is exceptional. No one has ever loved me like she has. God knew what He was doing when He sent me to Liberty University, and even though I'm unsure of this feeling right now I know this is what God wants. The goodbye is only temporary. My mom and I will talk on the phone, FaceTime, and mail each other back and forth. I will also fly back to Alabama whenever possible, but that doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt. I've seen my mom cry before and it's always hurt, but seeing her cry because she had to leave me hurt the most. She knows that I'm not that little blonde baby girl anymore. I'm grown up, I'm starting my life. I honestly didn't want to let go when she hugged me goodbye. My mother has been my best friend. She is someone i can trust and depend on. She makes me laugh, and has always provided the best she could for me and my brothers. She has never been selfish by putting her needs before ours. I am here starting this life without mom right beside me. God has put His hand on me though. I know that as long as i praise, love, obey, and trust in Him all these plans will fall in place. Sin has brought me to my lowest point, but God has picked me up. God's will for me is to serve Him and bring others to Christ. If I can do that then my life will be compete. When things get hard I know who i can fall back on. Not only do I have my family, and friends, but I also have my Lord and Savior to rest in. He has shown amazing love for me, too amazing to even explain. Even though my mom is not here i know I'm going to make her proud. I'm going to show her that she raised a grown woman who walks with the Lord, and who can and will be successful. I want nothing more than to make my mom proud. My mother did her best to raise me right, and even though i have disappointed her sometimes she has never made me feel anything less than wonderful. My mother is my hero, and inspiration. She pushes me to do my very best and I am where I am now because of that. Needless to say she was my saddest goodbye. It was the hardest goodbye. My mom knows i have to do this, she knows God needs me at Liberty training to be a champion of Christ, and that's why she let me go. If I wasn't meant to be here she wouldn't have let me go. So even though this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I know one day I will benefit from this. Faith and prayer will get me through the long nights, and the short happy days. Mom this ones for you. I'm hope I'm making you proud. I apprichate all the things you've done for me even though I don't tell you near enough. Also, I love you so much and don't you ever forget it. One day I hope to be half the woman you are.   
 Ezekiel 16:44 "Look, everyone who uses proverbs will say this proverb about you:  Like mother, like daughter."