Timing Is Everything

Ever feel like everything is finally getting better and then something happens that turns your life upside down? Well that's what I'm going through right now. God has put a lot on my heart in the past two weeks. He's broken it, taken people out of my life, put people in it, weakened me, but also made me stronger. God has a plan for me, and even though I am unsure of what it is I am going to trust Him. Yesterday I had a mini break down, thinking about classes and everything everyone has told me. I know so many people believe in me. They believe that I can succeed up here, but theres also been a lot of negative people saying I can't do this and that I will come home. I try to not let peoples negative thoughts get to me. God gave me this chance because He knows I can do this He knows I'm strong enough. God has also put me here as part of my healing. For the last couple of months God has been calling me. He has been saying " Mallorie, come close to me, Mallorie, let me fix your heart and let me pour out my love on you. Let me take that brokenness you feel and make you whole, Mallorie, let me be the one you turn to." For so long I ignored that call. I shouldn't have ran from Him as much as I did, but now that I'm not running He is flooding me with His love. He is taking all the emotional damage and fixing my life. My last two devotions have really showed me what God is trying to do. My devotion yesterday was about how God continually calls us to have closeness with Him. God created us and He knows our needs and wants for Him. He knows the depths of our need for him. The closer you come to God the more fulfillment you will find in Him. You must know God intimately, He wishes to have that deep intimate relationship with you, not one that just scratches the surface. My devotion this morning was about how God is a God who heals. This is exactly what I needed i think because I am going through a long healing process. We all know God can do miracles and amazing things, but personally I don't ever stop to think how God has healed me. The closer you are to God the more healing you experience. Also the more you ask for healing the greater it is. In Matthew 7:7-8 it says "Keep asking and it will be given to you. Keep searching and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks the for will be opened." God is telling us right there the more we ask for help, and healing the more we are going to receive.  Also the closer you grow to God the more He is going to reveal His will to you. I'm struggling right now not only with brokenness, but with comfort. I keep telling myself this is where God wants me because i know it is, but I can't help but panic and question can I really do this? Candace told me "part if your healing is crying and if you don't cry you're stealing your  healing". I never thought of it like that. Part of my healing is crying, and if I have to cry I can't hold that in. Even though yesterday has changed a lot of how I feel I have decided to let God handle it. It is honestly not my choice, God has a plan for me and if He wants someone in my life, He is going to find away to put them there. I have to stay focused on my relationship with Him and school. Everything else comes after that. Yesterday was full of mixed emotions for me, but today has been much better. On a happier note as I'm waiting for my next class to start I am thinking about my birthday! Tomorrow I turn nineteen, and I can not wait, even though I won't be around my family to celebrate it with. Being so far from home is one of the biggest challenges for me. I miss my brothers, and how we argue. I miss my parents and how they used to nag and tell me what to do. I miss my cousins always being around. And I miss seeing my grandparents. Like I feel like I'm so far away from all of them, even though I know their only a phone call away. God is working in my life and I want to share that with ya'll, so maybe you will let Him start working in yours to! We all have a purpose, we all have a call, we just have to let go and give ourselves to God and the rest will figure itself out. 

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