You Got Mal

Something I have been struggling with is worth. I can't seem to find out why I feel so unworthy and why I keep trying to convince myself why God should not love me. I know that I am a sinner, and I do not deserve His love. Not a single one of us does, why should He, a perfect, powerful God love us? He chooses to love us though because He wants us. No matter how much we do not like ourselves, or how broken we feel, God wants us. He longs for us. This school year has definitely been much different then last year. I have lost a ton of friends because of the selfish things they have wanted to do. I have been hurt by some of my closest friends that I never thought would hurt me. And I have realized that I cannot trust the people I always thought I could. I always knew God could speak to me. I have heard Him before, but I never knew He would speak such powerful words into my life last semester for me to write down to find this semester when I was struggling so much. He knows all and kn

If I had all the answers to life that would be great. If I knew why bad things happened to great people I would be content. But I don't understand why good people die in unfortunate ways, and I don't know why it has to happen to someone who was so harmless. Recently my dad dragged me to Alaska. Not wanting to go of course I still went. I was very weary how things would go just me and dad in Alaska for over a week. Well I got there late that night and the next morning dad was dragging me to work. I so didn't want to go sit in an office all day, but I just didn't know what God had planned for me. My dad had a secretary named Lavonna, and she was a pistol let me tell you. She was a sweet, caring woman, but she didn't take crap from anyone. She would do whatever it takes to take care of someone even someone who has hurt her. She was a strong willed woman who worked hard. Over the week Mrs Lavonna and I got really close. We would ride around and do things for dad, but

Today in Convocation I heard a song and it said "Lord Your love it runs so deep every breath You breathe in me You don't give up on me and as long as my heart beats I know You will carry me You don't give up on me." This song means so much to me because I used to be so prideful and self-righteous that I though God had given up on me and I was a lost cause. That not even Jesus could forgive me and cleanse me of my sins. I know a lot of people that also say," I'm too far gone." But do they know that by saying this they are saying, "What Jesus did on the cross is not big enough to cover my sins."  Do you realize what you say when you say Jesus would not even forgive you for the things that you do. You are disrespecting God and telling Him He is not powerful enough. God is ALL MIGHTY! He is so powerful He does not even need us, He wants us. God does not give up on His children, not a single one of us. God pursues us in the purest way there is. He

For so many people it is so easy to worship and praise Jesus when everything is going right. When life is good and you are being surrounded by your friends and family and things seem to be going how you want. You are happy and for you it is easy to praise God and talk about how great our Father is.  But what happens to that joy and happiness when something goes wrong? What happens when something you think is so unfair occurs?  When a friend is taken out of your life unexpectedly? Some times when bad things happen we find ourselves wanting to blame God and we start to question Him. We do not stop to think how God was in the situation we only focus on the tragedy that occurred.  Yesterday some of my friends went hiking. They just wanted to enjoy a day that God had blessed us with. While hiking one of our friends fell an died. Faith Helbig was a sweet, outspoken, spunky, lively girl. I had the honor of getting to know her. She was a light to many. Her heart was beautiful and she wa

We all have those moments where we finally realize the answer to a question we have been having for so long. That moment honestly can break a person down. For me it brought me to my knees tonight. I have been reading a book written by Heidi Baker called "Compelled by Love" and this book has been wrecking my life. The book has been changing how I think about a lot of things. It has been teaching me that everything I do should be done out of love. Me alone as a person, I have nothing to give. I do not care if my name is known, I just want to see the glory of Jesus Christ be known on this earth. We should be so poor in spirit that we have nothing else to do but to lean on and listen to God. We should be laid down lovers for His kingdom. It talks about how all we need to do is be willing to give up everything we have for the One who gave it all for us. This book has caused me to start evaluating what I have been doing more closely. One thing I have been noticing myself doing

The relationship between the Father and His daughter is a relationship that cant be matched He looks His daughter in the face and erases every memory she has. Every man that has ever hurt her or every lie she has been told,  God wipes them all away so He can make His daughter whole. As she is being emptied of all these memories she starts to get scared She takes her eyes off her Father and thats were she becomes bare. Without her Fathers love she knows no love herself  But He directs her eyes back to Him because He is her only help.  As she focuses in on His face, and the true beauty of His heart She realizes that there is no reason to fear  because He has held her from the start. He keeps healing her heart and pulling out the old He dresses His daughter in white because she is now as pure as the snow. He clothes her in righteousness because He has shown her grace. He has picked her up out of the pit and put the princess back in her place. Even when she stumbles He is

Feelings and emotions can be one of the hardest things to talk about. I know personally I like to hide things, and not always tell everyone how I feel. Some times I even think I can hide how I feel from God. As silly as that sounds I know plenty of people struggle with this. The best part is, we do not have to wear a mask over our hearts before our Father. We can let it all out, and just be as broken as we really are. In that one moment that you are open and allow God to see you He heals you. Not only do people try to hide things, but they also just think "Oh God knows how I feel already so why should I tell Him?" Communication is the most important part of a relationship. If you are not communicating in constant prayer with God how do you expect Him to be close to you? So many times I have asked myself "Mallorie, why are you hiding? What has God done to make you think that He cannot be trusted with your feelings?" That is where I find myself stuck. If those questio

No matter how hard we think life gets it actually is never that hard. Some times I look back at how my life used to be, it was a complete mess and I was a train wreck waiting to happen. Now that I have Jesus in my life I have had this outrageous revelation that nothing is that hard since I have the Father. The love and the peace that He gives freely is simply amazing. It is amazing how free I am in the presence of God. He frees His children, we can come to Him just as we are and stand in front of Him and just be free! Sometimes I feel like people do not get that. There is no restrictions on you when you are with the One who made you. I have been going through quiet a bit since Christmas break but, I have been trying to stay so positive. I have been reading the word, praying, and journaling but I still felt so discouraged. Jesus has the perfect ways of talking to His children though. This week has been Spiritual Emphasis Week. Last semester at Spiritual Emphasis Week I remember I had a

Today I was so excited to go back to Lynchburg. I got to the airport on time, I got my bags checked and I was ready to go. My flight to Montgomery was late but I did not think anything about it. I get on the plane and I listened to music for like an hour. I land in Charlotte and once I turn my phone on I get a text from my dad that says CALL ME 911. I knew something was up so  I called only to find out that my flight to Lynchburg was canceled. They said the next flight was not until Sunday. At this point I am scared to death. I have never dealt with this. So my dad tells me that my bags should be down stairs as I sit patiently waiting on my friend to come pick me up. Keep in mind she is driving from Lynchburg to Charlotte, a 3 hour drive, just to get me. I go through hell and back to get my bags honestly. I was told several times that they were already flown out to Lynchburg, but thats impossible when the plane hadn't left yet. So my dad who is all the way in Alaska is calling peop